Night Out With A Chick That Makes Me Nervous And A Guy I've Never Met! SHA-KAH!
1) Compromise is a healthy part of any relationship. Like with us. When R and I are in the bathroom getting ready to go out at the same time, and
he wants to listen to "
Savage Nation" on some AM alien channel of the radio and
I want to listen to classic rock, we compromise. And listen to classic rock. Please. As if there's even any negotiating room there. It's like saying "Wow, that's a great car. I'd like to buy that car from you."
"Well, okay; what have you got?"
"This dirty twig."
2) R absently called "Pearl Jam" "The Jammers" for short. "The Jammers". After glancing at my incredulous face he then quickly explained that he had talked to Eddie Vedder on the phone earlier and that Eddie asked him to try out "The Jammers" in conversation and see what people thought because the band is thinking about leaning in a new direction. I asked if that direction was the direction of fruit preserves, and R said he didn't know, that it wasn't his idea, and that if I wanted to call Eddie and question him I was more than welcome. His number's on the caller ID.
I couldn't say a word. How could I combat that sort of evil genius?
3) But! On the way to the restaurant I
did get to use my "perfect comeback", the one I've been savoring and ripening. Here's how it went:
R: "Should we turn right on Camelback, or take Indian School?"
ME: "Who do I look like, Rand McNally? Figure it out!"
Then I laughed really hard and grabbed his hand and told him to turn on Camelback. I thought it was hilarious. He thought it was sort of funny. But he didn't think it was funny later, and this morning he doesn't even really remember. I'll probably stop asking him about it this afternoon. Or tomorrow.
4) Dinner itself was fabulous. The
restaurant was amazing and the food was divine. I couldn't really get a feel for K; she stared dreamily at her man all night while sipping a single glass of chardonnay. It was shockingly tame. The
Captain even came over for a few minutes to gladhand. I thought that was nice. You know. No hard feelings.
5) Oh, the ride home! The top down and the air on, Van Morrison magically on the radio, me in my Katherine Hepburn pants and finally letting my "hair guard" down... when we got home and saw that there were thirty kids in the backyard making s'mores over the firepit and chilling a keg of Coors Light, well, damn. It was seriously as though I had called ahead.
If you have some time go and watch the
Lint People. If you're like me and have an unnatural compassion for lint, then keep in mind that this is rated
Lint R for Lint Violence.
And
Change of Plans starts a brand new plot on Monday. Last week it was warfare with giant purple rabbits, headless corpses playing charades, obsessive compulsive Mr. Bubble super-soaking and hot chicks. That's right-- hot chicks.
