"Insult to Injury"
Oh faithful left thumb
Who has always been there
Attached to my hand
Ready to do my bidding
Never for anything terribly important because that's what Right Thumb is for,
But still
You'd steer and stuff.
Sometimes maybe help crack an ice tray
In that first apartment.
Remember that place?
Of course you do.
What a shithole.
But I digress.
Thumb!
I realize now
How I took you for granted
All those times you held my sunglasses while Right Thumb pushed the cart
In the days before I slammed you
Fucking hard
In the back door of the house yesterday.
In the days when you were still opposable
And not nearly this fat and purple.
I entreat you, dear left thumb,
To remember the good times we've had
The ice cream cones you held
Albeit briefly
When Right Thumb got too cold,
The Marboros you helped hold
Back in the day
Once I finally figured out how to smoke in the car
Without burning the crap out of the upholstery
Which was never
But you kept trying.
Good times.
Is what I'm saying.
And I hope that maybe
Just maybe
When you think about the time we've spent together--
The life we've made together--
Maybe you'll cut out all this throbbing bullshit for a few minutes
And just hold the hair dryer
Like every other day
For the past twenty years.
But my sincerest hope
Second dearest thumb,
Is that you'll do everything in your tiny fat power
To hold on to your nail.
Hold on!
And never let it go!
Because really
That nail
Is the only thing keeping you
From looking like a tiny
Fat
Purple
Hand penis.
