You too, Atlanta.

Randy and I just returned from an epic trip to China. We hadn't planned on it but some friends put a trip and a group together and ultimately it was like twenty-three dollars to go on a world-class China extravaganza. Beijing, Xi'an, Chengdu, Lijiang, Dali, Kunming, Suzhou, Tongli, Shanghai.

Six domestic flights once in China. I ate a box and a half of Dramamine over sixteen days; my blood now runs orange but hey, no other passengers got puked on for once. And it's starting to look like my peripheral vision might come back so it was obviously the right call.

I tried to write about the trip during the nine free minutes I had there with an Internet connection, but China blocked access to Blogger before the 2008 Olympics and never opened it back up. I already called and bitched out the US embassy, don't you worry.

No I didn't. The US embassy stopped taking my calls like four years ago.

So I'm going to write about the trip as I go through all the receipts and brochures and everything I picked up along the way. I don't expect that to help, it's all in Chinese, but maybe there'll be some pictures or numbers or a Rorschach in there to jog my memory.

I can tell you this, though: the Beijing airport is absolutely unbelievable. We stepped off the plane and into the gate and Randy and I were both pretty positive we'd landed in Gattaca. What year is this, 2118? Is there some international airport contest going on that I haven't been privy to? Because if so, Beijing fucking won. You can stop pouring concrete, Dallas / Ft. Worth, it's over, we lost.