Several months ago I signed up for a six-week quilting class. Because I wanted to learn how to quilt, sure, but also because I was looking to expand my social circle to include a bunch of women who share my combined loves of lozenges and sitting.
I took this six-week class, and then I took a two-day class, and then I took a three-hour class, and then I asked if I could retake session two of the six-week class. At which point the instructor handed me a class schedule to recommend another course I might find helpful, Give Up Already 101. Little did she know I'm already deep into the 300-level of the Quit It curriculum.
So after like forty-five hours of concentrated instruction, I decided I would make everyone a quilt for Christmas. It seemed like a fantastic idea in September, sort of, to me. And I announced it to everybody like a jackass and ran out and bought a metric shit ton of fabric so I could spend the next four months cordoned off in the back of the house trying to jam a queen-sized quilt underneath the arm of my basic $279 Husqvarna sewing machine. It's a lot like trying to feed a VCR into paper shredder.
The indie quilt store where I took all the classes is less than a mile up the road; yesterday I busted in there with a rotary cutter in one hand, seventy-three too small quilt squares in the other hand, nine yards of purple flannel around my neck, and weeping. Like a sad, sad king whose scepter is just WAY too sharp.
As of today I have one quilt left. ONE QUILT LEFT. I'm actually really enjoying the process; I tend to learn better with endless hours of instruction coupled with an almost unbearable amount of immediate and tedious practice, so I feel I'm thriving. I would have been done by now but there was a Christmas onslaught of zombie orders that rightfully took priority; as it stands I expect to have this quilt completely finished around three in the morning on Christmas Day.
I've taken pictures of all the finished quilts but I don't want to post them yet-- I don't want anybody seeing the evidence and getting all disappointed this far before Christmas. Nothing like a baby blue and eggplant quilt that looks like it was hand-quilted by mice to make you wonder whatever happened to Nordstrom gift cards.
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6 comments:
This post, really any post by you, is the best Christmas gift you could give.
colleen, put down whatever you're smoking. erin's great and all, but i'll take cash.
i hope there's at least one tangerine and pepto quilt out there in the universe, stitched by the hand of erin glaser. it's really the only way i can fitfully sleep at night.
I have nothing useful to add, except: Silkscreen Sock Zombie Patchwork Quilt. That should so be a thing.
Mathew, cash is great, and God knows I could use some, but I'll suck up all I can if there's a chance it'll get her post more. I'm kind of disappointed that the quilting is going so well, though. I was hoping for a sequel to "A History of Fucked up Crochet."
I NEED to know how the quilts turned out. Please.
Figbash, I just finished moving this whole site to Squarespace... I'm still working on it and waiting for my banner to be professionally finished, but if you go to outofcharacter.net tomorrow afternoon, I promise to have a quilt update.
You're so sweet to ask, thank you for that.
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